#Lance and his pretty privilege allowing him to be the only person who can leave his mark on Pato's car

[nico-di-genova]

Researching interiors of a Dodge Charger for completely wholesome reasons. The horrors that have happened here.

[cassandra-tangled]

Cassandra Appreciation Week Day 5: Happiness

Hey guys! Here’s my one-shot for Cassandra Appreciation Week day 5: happiness. So, I took a little bit of a liberty with this one, it’s a bit experimental and in first person. I’m honestly not too sure how I feel about it, but it was fun to play around with! Also, it does loosely connect to my one-shot for day 1 (here on AO3). Anyway, I hope y’all enjoy! Here’s the AO3 link 

The word count is 2,475

And a brief summary is: Cassandra makes good use of the journal that Rapunzel gave her as a birthday gift. 

The only thing of any concern is some light cursing. Enjoy!

Dear Diary, 

Dear Journal,

Wow. This is really not my speed. 

So, a journal. I don’t really know what to write, I’m not a...journal-ly person. Raps is, sure, but not me. This stupid, leather-bound book was a birthday gift from her, though, so I want to make sure I use it.

Not that Raps would ever snoop into my private life (at least not intrusively enough to read this) but if she did, I hope that last part wouldn’t hurt her feelings. I love the gift, really. It’s only stupid because it’s frusturating me that I don’t know what to write.

I guess I can start with where I got this journal. Like I said, it was a birthday gift from Raps. My birthday was a little under a week ago, now. I didn’t even know it was my birthday, but I turned twenty-eight. I feel old. Raps threw me a dinner. There was good food, cake, and alcohol. I fucking hate parties, but I love my friends, and it was only the five of us. Raps and Eugene got me this book, and a quill, and a knife, and some clothes and other fun things. It was really sweet of them, honestly. They didn’t need to get me anything, I wouldn’t have known the difference. Varian got me a bag of rocks, basically. Wait, that made me sound ungrateful. They’re beautiful rocks, and it was a cute gift. Or are they stones? Or gems?? Or crystals?? Fuck, I’m not a rock expert. But whatever they are, they’re pretty, and he found them all around the kingdom. It’ll be like having Corona with me when I leave again. Oh, and Lance got me a bag of Monty’s candy. Score.

So, I don’t really know what to use this for. I guess if I go back on the road I can...write or doodle in here like Raps did when we were younger. I mean, I’ll probably write, if anything. She’s all about doodles. I wonder how many notebooks she’s filled up by now.

When I asked her what she thought I should do with the journal yesterday, she told me to write about the things that make me happy. That’s a good place to start, I suppose. I’m not her, though. She could probably write a novel and a half on what makes her happy--but not me. Most things make me angry, and I could probably write a novel on that. Screaming children make me angry, although they’re cute when they’re quiet. Parties and social interaction make me angry. People who pronounce ‘vase’ as ‘vayhse’ make me angry (it’s ‘vahz’). Being awake makes me angry. Being asleep makes me angry. Freeloaders and thieves make me angry--reformed ones are okay, though. Most people make me angry. Especially Fitzherbert. Don’t get me wrong, I love him...sometimes. 

But I’m supposed to be talking about things that make me happy. Honestly, I’m hard pressed to think of many, but I can think of some.

My weapons make me happy. I could stare at them for hours, in all honesty--I have so many (thanks Dad), and they’re all beautiful. I love polishing them, and admiring them, and of course...using them. Not in a creepy killer way or anything. Dueling is just really, really fun, and let me just say--I’ve made good use of my Fitzherbert sparring dummy since coming home.

My favorite weapon is my halberd. I keep it well cared for, sharp, polished, and shiny. It was the first weapon Dad gave me, for my eighth birthday. At that point, it towered over me, but not anymore--I’ve had it twenty years now, and it’s rather proportionate. I mean, it’s taller than me because it’s supposed to be, but seriously...watching eight year old me trudge around with it was probably a sight to see. Anyway, he chose it as my first weapon because it’s the weapon of choice for Corona’s guard. I was eight when he started really training me with them. Before, I’d sat on the sidelines and watched, but by eight, I was a full-fledged trainee. People thought he was crazy for raising his daughter to be a guard from such a young age, but I’m glad for it. I wouldn’t be able to protect myself otherwise.

I love all my weapons, though. I couldn’t take my halberd with me on the road, so I took two of my daggers and my favorite sword instead. Oh, how I wanted to take my mace, but it was too heavy to justify. My favorite dagger, I’ve had since I was sixteen. I had a few before it, but my favorite one is absolutely beautiful. It’s probably the most valuable thing that I own. It was a gift, too, a blade carved of steel and the handle of beautiful gold. It’s badass--the handle is carved into this weird...I don’t know, dragon? Lizard? Sea serpent? Whatever it is, it looks cool, and my name is engraved on the blade. The sheath is encrusted with small gems. It’s not from my dad, but from an ‘anonymous castle staff’ or something who leaves me gifts every year. I don’t know why they bother or how they afford it, but I love it. It’s not the most practical, because of the handle, it’s more ornamental. I don’t usually use it in sparring or fights. I didn’t bring it on the road with me, as much as it pained me to leave it home, because of its obvious, glaring value. So, it was nice to see it again when I got back here.

Hmm...I’ve been talking about my weapons for a while. What else makes me happy?

Books. I love books. I grew up with them as, well, my best friends. I was privileged enough to be educated, and educated well. I was reading fluently by the time I was six or seven, and when I wasn’t training, working or otherwise helping my father, you could be sure to find my nose buried in a book. One of the biggest perks of growing up in a castle is the library. I mean, usually, servants can read the book if they please and are able, but aren’t allowed to take the books out with them, or anything like that. I guess Queen Arianna likes me, because I was allowed. My father said it was a special privilege, since I was a learning child, and she valued the concept of book-smart young girls. Anyway, since I started working, I don’t use the library as much anymore--not because I dislike reading nowadays, but because I buy my own books. 

Funny story, here. Growing up, I read a lot of fantasy books, about...you know, damsels in distress and princesses who were saved by handsome knights in shining armor. I used to think that maybe, just maybe, if I trained hard enough, I could be the one to bring the lost princess home, and maybe even…

Well, a rogue thief beat me to it. And it wasn’t even on purpose.

Anyway, back to happy--animals make me happy, too. It doesn’t matter what kind, although I am sort of biased towards a certain owl and two particular horses. I don’t know what it is about animals, but despite the fact that they don’t speak our language, they’re a lot more capable of love and empathy than most humans are. There are a lot of great Coronan horses, but two are particularly dear to me. I remember when Max and Fidella were born, actually. They’re pretty close in age, though I think Max is a tad older--he was born when I was fourteen, and she when I was fifteen. Max was fathered by my father’s previous horse, and by the time he was weaned from his mother, it was clear he’d be taking his father’s place as the Captain’s horse. Fidella was actually born to my childhood favorite horse. I learned to ride on her mother, so it seems only appropriate to me that she became the one to accompany me on my journey. Her mother was a beautiful mare named Eliza. Eliza was quite similar to Fidella in color and stature--she certainly takes after her mother, not her father. Eliza was my first equine love, if you will. For a kid without any friends, a faithful horse can fill the gap. We had a lot of fun together, but she got sick and died a year or two after birthing Fidella. It broke me, honestly. Horses can live to thirty years, and she was only twelve at the time of her death. 

Right, happy. Oh people, I guess. I mean, as I said before, a lot of people piss me off, but some of them are more than okay. Dad is pretty great, and it’s been nice to be back and see him again. I didn’t appreciate him as much as I should have in my childhood--but then, isn’t that the way it goes? Raps is amazing too, and so is the rest of the gang. I don’t know where I’d be today if it weren’t for their fighting so hard to save me and, honestly, I don’t want to imagine. I’d probably be dead. Despite my...occasional bitterness, especially before, I’ve had some of my best times by their side. Actually, I’ve had nearly all of my best times by their side. Before Rapunzel came back and, well, pretty much forced me to be her friend, I had no one. I’m glad she did. If it weren’t for her, I probably would have died without letting anyone in, without having a single friend outside my father, Owl, my weapons and my books. But Rapunzel is…Rapunzel is impossible to resist. I learned eventually that there was no use in even trying to resist her--and she ended up being the best thing that had ever happened to me. She’s the first person I let in, the reason that I know what it means to be a friend (and how to become one), and the sole reason my friendship extended to Eugene, Lance, and Varian.

I mean...I had some dark times. Some really, really dark times. Happiness was the furthest thing from my mind. Instead, I was enraged, jealous, bitter, cold, and most of all, I was hurting. At that point, if you’d asked me, Rapunzel was the worst thing that had happened to me, even though deep down inside I loved her and cared for her more than I ever would have admitted at that point. I did some bad things, some horrible things. In my greed, in my...selfishness and lust for power, I committed some fucking heinous crimes. I hurt all of the people who were most dear to me. I almost caused the downfall of Corona--and the entire world quite easily could have followed.  

Yet still, when it was all said and done, Rapunzel still saw the light in me. Eugene, Lance, Varian, my dad, they all still saw the light in me. Despite all the pain and destruction, despite all the fear and uncertainty and my horrid crimes...they forgave me. They loved me.

I hated myself, and I wanted so badly for them to hate me, too. Maybe it’s what lesser people would have done, or maybe it’s what they should have done. I’m still not quite sure. Either way, they didn’t. They chose the path of forgiveness.  

That’s what love is. 

Rapunzel likes to say that I was never a bad person, and that I just lost my way. I hope that that is true, but honestly, I have no way of knowing. When I think of that time in my life, I’m detached. The memories are vivid and yet blurred. I don’t see that woman as me. I don’t. I can’t believe what I did, that my own two hands committed such offenses. I see that version of myself as a lost, sad, broken woman, descending further and further down a dangerous, shadowy path that would have ended in nothing but pain and destruction. I’d given up on myself. But my friends? They never gave up on me. They saved me from that.

Whether I was truly bad or just horribly lost is beside the point, because that’s not me anymore. It haunts me every waking moment, but it’s in the past. It hangs permanently in the back of my head, but I try to push it away, to ignore it. I’ve changed drastically. I now realize that I have, and always have had, so much to be grateful for. I still yearn for more. It’s almost as if it’s in my nature. But if it’s destined to come to me, then it will be manifested through my hard work. If it’s not, at least I tried.  

Most of the time, for me, happiness is hard to come by. Honestly, it is--even now, even though I realize I have much to be grateful for. It’s not such a bad thing to me, though, because when I do feel happiness...it’s exhilarating. It’s life-altering, and the taste of it sticks to my tongue like Monty’s taffy. When I do feel happiness, it makes all of the pain and all of the suffering that I’ve endured worth it. 

So, what is happiness to me?

Happiness...happiness is sharpening my weapons on a rainy Tuesday afternoon. Happiness is curling up by the fire, nose deep within a book, reading like my life depends on it. Happiness is  dark, windy, winding roads far from home, and the shiver that runs down your back when you realize, ‘I’m deciding my own destiny’. Happiness is a Coronan stable. Happiness is flying from town to town on horseback, meeting new people. Happiness is hunting with Owl, and sitting by the fire with Fidella. Happiness is a cup of ale, a shot of whiskey, and warm food. Happiness is laughing with friends, and melting into their arms after years apart. Happiness is the fact that you converse as if you hadn’t been away at all. Happiness is taking the horses out to the wall with Raps, and bickering with Eugene. Happiness is helping a greasy-handed Varian with one of his many ambitious projects, or screaming at Lance for eating your lunch. Happiness is having tea with Dad, and the prideful joy on his face when he pulls back from a hug. Happiness is loving, whether things, animals, or people. Happiness is being loved in return. 

Most of all, happiness is being alive. 

If it’s true that we only get one life, I’m happy that I’ve had the privilege and opportunity to spend mine the way that I have. 

That’s all for today. It’s time for this girl to get some rest.

Until next time,

Cassandra

[ablogthatishenceforthmine]

A Re-Evaluation of Laurel Lance: Season 3

Intro

Laurel joins the team! Well, kinda. And she becomes the Black Canary! But has been demoted to a supporting character. So, there is some good stuff and some bad stuff. The show still struggles to include her in the man action, and to give her fully-developed stories.

Demotion to Supporting Character

Laurel is no longer the female lead of the show. Felicity is, and will remain so until the beginning of season 8. Laurel is now firmly a supporting character. While she has her own story lines, she has significantly less screen time than she had in the previous two seasons. It’s no coincidence that Laurel is demoted from the female lead to a supporting character at the same time in which it becomes clear she is no Oliver’s love interest. This fact shows that her prominence in the first two seasons was solely because she was the love interest to the protagonist. It’s upsetting and sexist that Laurel’s demotion comes because she is longer love interest, showing she was only the female lead because she was a love interest. And it is equally upsetting that the season in which her character is most prominent (Season 1) is the season in which her only role is as love interest. We can see in season 2, when they were moving away from Laurel as Oliver’s love interest, that she got less screen time than she did in Season 1, and now that she is definitively no longer a love interest, her screen time and character importance has decreased even further.

She has an arc across the season, dealing with Sara’s death and becoming the Black Canary. But in most episodes, she is not a major focus, and gets mini-arcs that just take a few scenes, befitting her new supporting player status. Her drop in prominence can be seen in the fact that we barely, if at all, see Laurel’s apartment this season, a staple set of the previous two seasons

Oliver’s controlling and Patronizing Treatment of Laurel

Laurel’s relationship with Oliver is one of the biggest failures in her character’s writing this season. Their relationship is contentious throughout the whole season, but is never really explored enough. Laurel is again trapped by her relationships with patronizing men, mainly Oliver. Their contentious relationship starts when Laurel wants to kill Sara’s murderer. But, it really kicks in when Oliver refuses to train her. Oliver cites other people as his reasons for why he won’t train her: it would kill Lance if something happened, and Sara would never forgive him. He is governing Laurel actions and valuing her life in relation to other people. What that is saying, most likely unintentionally, is that Laurel should live her life for her value to others. Again, he is not letting Laurel make her own decisions and judge for herself what is best for her. She is viewed, by Oliver, through other people, as someone Lance loves and Sara loved, rather than her own person with her own agency.

And it gets even worse once Oliver finds out Laurel has been boxing and training with Ted Grant. He tells Laurel that even if Ted is not a killer, she should “keep her eyes open with this guy.” Which is pretty hypocritical coming from Oliver, who HAS killed people. The real reason Oliver doesn’t like Grant is because he is training Laurel. Oliver is angered that Laurel is training after he told her HE wouldn’t train her. It’s clear that Oliver thought by telling her that he wouldn’t train her, he was also saying that she couldn’t train at all. As if he has control and say over what she does. He expects her to fall in line with what he says, and is angered when she doesn’t.

Despite the strides Laurel’s character has made, she is still stuck by relationships with patronizing men, namely Oliver, and that does an injustice to her character, especially as the show is not making any commentary on it. It also does not help her character to always be in conflict with the protagonist, while not being an antagonist, and not have their continuing conflict to be a serial, ongoing arc but rather treated as an episode by episode thing. Later, when Oliver found out that Grant was a former vigilante accused of beating a guy to death, he asks Laurel “how many more reasons am i going to have to give you until you stay away from this guy?” He is treating her like a child, who isn’t capable of making decisions in her own best interests. When Laurel tells him that she “can handle [the case],” he tells her that no, she can’t. Oliver and Grant  go off, and Oliver doesn’t let Laurel come. He acts like he is in charge of her. Later, Arrow goes to see Grant at his gym and tells him to stay away from Laurel. He’s worried that Laurel could get hurt, and Ted says that it’s her choice. This shows that Oliver hasn’t really learned his lesson, because now he is bypassing Laurel entirely, trying to appeal to Grant to take the decision away from Laurel. Grant rightly points out that it’s Laurel’s decision. And while the show frames Oliver as mostly wrong in his treatment of Laurel, he is still the protagonist, which puts him in a privileged position. And way more character work has gone into Oliver in the series than it has gone into Laurel. The show also doesn’t seem to realize how bad this treatment actually is. It is framed as not great, but well-intentioned and mostly harmless.

In the scene where they make up in this episode, Oliver tells Laurel that when he said he couldn’t train her, it was because he was trying to protect her. She says she’s not helpless, and he replies says he has never seen her that way, but says he is always going to watch out of her because he cares about her. It’s a nice sentiment, but if his way of watching out for her is denying her her agency than it doesn’t really matter that he doesn’t view her as helpless. Wanting to protect a woman cannot be used to justify trying to control them. Also, this fact (the Oliver doesn’t want to train Laurel because he wants to protect her) is treated like a revelation, when it was blatantly obvious that it was part of the reason the whole time, and should have been obvious to Laurel too. But the show accepts Oliver’s reasoning, and Laurel forgives and hugs him. As if this behavior is okay because he was trying to protect her. If this behavior was just a one time thing, this resolution would be good enough. But Oliver, throughout the entire show so far, has always treated Laurel like this. He repeatedly attempts to make decisions on her behalf that should be hers to make in the name of protecting her.

Then there is the way Oliver treats Laurel when she becomes the Black Canary. When they run into each other in the field, Oliver is furious and manhandles her, again treating her like a child. He again asks what would happen to her father if something happened to her, once again relating Laurel’s personhood and existence to that of another person. Again, he is trying to control her. It’s one thing to not let her be on the team as he has the authority to do so, but it is another thing to order her not to be a vigilante on her own, which he has no authority to do so. Oliver always acts like Laurel’s choices are his to decide.

Maybe worst of all, Oliver does not treat anyone else this way - only Laurel. Oliver cares about Diggle, and Roy, but has no problem with them putting themselves in danger. He also doesn’t act this way toward other women. He had no problem training Helena. He is not even this overprotective with Thea, who he mostly allows to be her own person and make her own decisions. He hasn’t behaved this way with Felicity. He invited her to join the team, even though he knew it would be dangerous. He has no problem with Felicity going out into the field when she needs to. And when Felicity becomes Oliver’s love interest, he still doesn’t treat her in the patronizing, and overprotective way that he treats Laurel. So it’s not even a way that Oliver treats his love interests. He only treats Laurel this way, with no good reason why, which makes it seem like it’s something wrong with Laurel, not Oliver. Oliver may not think Laurel’s helpless, but he sure as hell doesn’t respect her. Throughout the series, he denies Laurel her agency. The whole thing is very patronizing and demeaning, and because he is the protagonist, and this behavior is mostly not called out, the show also treats Laurel in a patronizing and demeaning way.

Throughout the series, one of Oliver’s most patronizing behaviors is constantly keeping things from Laurel. Sure, Oliver is not the most honest character, and he lies to a lot of people. But Oliver goes to such concerted efforts to hide things from Laurel because he thinks she can’t handle it. When Laurel learns from Thea that Malcolm drugged Thea to kill Sara, Laurel tests Oliver to see if he will tell her the truth. He doesn’t and lies to her face quite easily. Laurel is furious, and at the end of the argument, she tells him that it is hard to remember a time when she was actually in love with him, showing how far apart Oliver and Laurel have grown. Later, Oliver tells Laurel that he keeps secrets from her because she lets her emotions get in the way of her decision making. This is both condescending and hypocritical, as Oliver has let his emotions get in the way of his decision making many times. So have other characters. So the idea that Oliver has always kept things from Laurel because she lets her emotions get in the way doesn’t track. Men keeping things from women in fiction because “they can’t handle the truth” and are “too emotional” is also a very common sexist trope.

Oliver and Laurel grow increasingly distant this season, and it seems like they barely care about each other at all. For example, Laurel is the only one Oliver doesn’t say goodbye to before he goes to confront Ra’s Al Ghul in “The Climb.” And yes, he doesn’t want Laurel to know the situation about Sara’s death, again leaving Laurel’s character in the dark as to the main action of the season, but he still could have seen or talked to her without revealing that it is a goodbye. But Laurel doesn’t seem important to Oliver this season. And Oliver doesn’t seem to matter that much to Laurel. When Oliver becomes Al-Sahim, Laurel suggests that she should take on Oliver alone because Felicity and Diggle, as the two people closest to Oliver, shouldn’t have to do that. He is the protagonist, and distancing Laurel from him, and making her not important to him, and him not important to her, does no favors for her character. The writers clearly are having trouble writing their relationship and having them be important to each other now that their relationship is no longer romantic.

The Path to Becoming the Black Canary

This season Laurel becomes the Black Canary, which stems from Sara’s death. A common complaint I see about this plot line is that Laurel becomes a skilled fighter too fast. But... I just don’t see it. From seasons 1 and 2, we know that Laurel has taken self defense classes, at the behest of her Dad, a police officer. And we’ve seen her use these skills a few times. So already, before starting her training, her fighting skills are better than the average person. They are not good enough for her to be a vigilante, but she isn’t starting from absolutely nowhere. And her first attempt at vigilantism is terrible! A complete and utter failure. She goes to attack a domestic abuser, and he easily beats her up, and there is no indication that he is even a trained fighter.

When Laurel puts on the Black Canary outfit in the wake of what she thinks is Oliver’s death, she fails again! She tries to save someone, but she loses the fight, and is saved by Roy. Later in that episode, Laurel and Roy go on a mission to rescue the kidnapped, but they fail because of Laurel. Due to Laurel’s failure, one of the hostages is killed. In the next episode, she still struggles to be a good enough fighter to be a vigilante. She is ultimately able to be good enough at both these episodes’ ends, but it is still clear she has A LOT of shortcomings, and still needs work. Then, Nyssa, A LEAGUE OF ASSASSINS MEMBER, trains her. It definitely would have helped if we had seen some of their training; we just get a scene of Nyssa evaluating Laurel’s performance in the field. But still, Laurel is being trained by an incredible fighter. One of the people who trained Sara. And a member of the same organization of the person (Malcom) who trained Thea how to fight. And she still a not great fighter! When everyone goes to Nanda Parbot, she really struggles in the fight against the League of Assassins. Even in season 4, where there is a months-long time jump where she has presumably been training, she is still not an incredible fighter, and is clearly the weakest of the group. She is a good enough fighter who is helped out a lot by the use of a sonic scream. So I really don’t get the argument that she became a capable fighter too easily, or too fast, except that it stems from sexist bullshit. It took a whole season, and even at the end of it, she is only capable, not amazing.

I also like how Laurel’s superheroism is borne not out of trying to save the world, but out of trauma, similar to Oliver. It makes her a more complex character than just an idealistic do-gooder. Before deciding to train with Grant, she tells people at the AA meeting that she’s angry, but that she has no idea what to do with that anger. Training with Grant and becoming a vigilante became a way for her to direct and express her anger. She also does it because it makes her feel closer to Sara-- as she tells Oliver, it makes her feel like Sara’s alive again.

Laurel also experiences dark temptations, and becomes a more morally ambiguous character. She wants Sara’s murderer killed. She is far from the pure Laurel of Season 1. And while I don’t really like this story-line, because when it comes down to it, Laurel is always in the wrong, and Oliver is always in the right, it shows that the series has really diverged from Laurel being the moral center. But it is still another thread all season when Laurel is in the wrong against the protagonist, so she doesn’t exactly come off favorably in this story-line. .

Laurel becoming the Black Canary is also Laurel’s first really coherent season-long arc (her season 2 addiction storyline only lasted part of the season). She goes from using training as a vigilante to deal with her grief to becoming Black Canary for reasons separate from Sara. From this story-line, Laurel gets a few great scenes. In the episode when Laurel becomes Black Canary, a running refrain she hears is that she is not Sara. This will continue into another episode too. Laurel is ready to give up being the Black Canary, and talks to Felicity about how she was doing it for Sara.  Felicity says she shouldn’t do it for Sara, that they shouldn’t do it for dead people, they should do it for people who are still alive. In another episode, she repeatedly hallucinates Sara under the effects of vertigo. Hallucination Sara says that Laurel is not a hero, that she’s a liar, a fraud, and an addict, and asks why Laurel is trying to take her place. When Laurel later tells Felicity these fears and insecurities, Felicity advises her to stop trying to be Sara and to just be herself. When Laurel later hallucinates Sara again, she tells hallucination Sara that she is done trying to be her.

Laurel and Nyssa

Laurel develops another great female relationship this season, and an unexpected one - with Nyssa. Their relationship is complicated and they come together due to their shared grief of Sara. Their relationship starts combative: with Laurel blaming Nyssa for putting the darkness inside of Sara, and Nysaa saying Laurel is not fit to wear Sara’  jacket. When Laurel tells Nyssa to kill Merlyn whatever it takes, Nyssa starts to see her differently.

In the second half of season 3,  Nyssa offers Laurel a hand of friendship and to lend an ear for Laurel to talk about her problems with her dad. She also offers to train Laurel. Its a really sweet, well-written scene.  They have another great scene when they go to a diner together. It’s cute and fun. Laurel teaches Nyssa to dip fries in her milkshake. And their dynamic and relationship feels specific. It’s founded in shared grief, but they also have the dynamic of Nyssa being new to world outside the league. They both teach each other things. And their relationship is defined, specific, and fun in a way that Laurel’s  relationships with the members of Team Arrow isn’t.

Both Outside and Inside of Team Arrow

One of the biggest problems with Laurel’s character this season is her place in Team Arrow. She is kind of a member, but kind of not, especially in the first half of the season. Even when she fully joins the team in the second half, it still doesn’t feel like she has the standing and position that the other members do, and she still feels a bit like she’s on the outside. Even though she knows about Team Arrow and even when she is officially on Team Arrow, she is kept out of a lot of the main action. A lot of the main plot revolves around Thea’s killing of Sara under the influence of a drug that Malcolm gave her. Thea, after being almost killed,  is revived by the Lazarus pit. Oliver and the rest of Team Arrow keep all this information from Laurel, keeping her on the sidelines of the main plot, and not allowing her to be involved of most of the big missions. She doesn’t even know what it is going on. In “Left Behind,” it’s not until Laurel comes to Team Arrow for something that they tell her even a little bit of what’s going on, that it seems as if Oliver is dead. It’s telling that none of them saw it fit to reach out to her to tell her this massive development.

Now, I understand the plot reasons for this: Laurel can’t know about the Lazarus Pit until season 4. However, her character still suffers greatly for it. It’s an awkward position, and makes her feel lost in the show. And there are ways apart from the LOA plot that she is needlessly left out of the Team Arrow main action. For example, she is completely left out of the plot to get Oliver out of prison by making everyone believe Roy is the Green Arrow and then faking Roy’s death. She doesn’t even say goodbye to Roy!

She is on the outside of Team Arrow by more ways than just being excluded from main plots. For the first half of Season 3, Laurel doesn’t seem to have any relationships or friendships with Non-Oliver members of Team Arrow, despite it being months since she found out about them. In 3A, she doesn’t have any solo scenes with Felicity, Diggle, or Roy. The only kind of solo scene she has with any of them is with Felicity over the phone asking for information. And when Laurel calls, Felicity asks “Are we favor friends now? Are we friends?,” showing how little personal relationship Laurel has with Felicity at this point. There is not really any reason for her lack of relationship with Felicity, Diggle, and Roy. And worse, it makes her feel isolated in the story. And when she does have more scenes with non-Oliver Team Arrow characters in 3B, many of those scenes are nice, but few of them feel like Laurel has a distinct relationship with any of them; it just feels like they are vaguely supportive of each other.This is a huge limit on Laurel’s character.

This could have been easily solved by having Oliver train Laurel, where she would be more in the fray of Team Arrow. She obviously wouldn’t go out in the field right away, and it would take the same amount of time it did as it did in this version. But we could get scenes of the others training her. Scenes of her watching the others’ mission with Felicity, learning how things are done. They could send her on smaller, less dangerous missions - like recon. I just… it would have been so much better from her character.

Laurel does have some nice scenes with Felicity though, even if their dynamic still feels vague. At least in 3B, they consistently support and comfort each other. When Felicity comes to Laurel’s office to check on her, Laurel say’s she’s giving up, that she won’t be The Black Canary anymore. Laurel talks about how she was doing it for Sara. Felicity says she shouldn’t do it for Sara, that they shouldn’t do it for dead people, they should do it for people who are still alive. Both of them are working through their own story lines together. It is a GREAT scene for both of them. It is is great and fitting that Felicity, another woman, is the first one to accept Laurel as the Black Canary. Felicity is the only one who encourages Laurel throughout her whole journey to be the Black Canary. I really wish we had more scenes of them throughout the series, and that they were given a steadier and more developed friendship because scenes like this are great.

But even in 3B, Laurel still feels like a bit of an outsider from Team Arrow. While Laurel and Nyssa’s scene at the diner is great, at the same time that is occurring, Felicity and Thea are having a family dinner with Diggle, John, and Sara, spending quality time together, bonding. Laurel’s exclusion from this hang-out makes it feel like she is still not fully part of the team, like she is not in this close-knit group. While I love her scene with Nyssa, it would have been nice to have scenes of her hanging out with members of Team Arrow too.

Still Underwritten

Laurel is still underwritten and there are multiple underdeveloped threads in her character this season. In the episode “Sara,” Oliver catches the guy they think might have killed Sara. But Laurel interrupts, pointing a gun at the suspect and planning to kill him. The suspect says he has no idea who Sara is. Oliver tries to talk Laurel down from killing him, but it doesn’t work, and Laurel pulls the trigger. However, Oliver had emptied the bullets out of her gun, so nothing happens. Laurel later makes multiple attempts to kill Malcom or to have Malcom killed. The show never reckons with the fact that Laurel wants to be, and almost was, a killer. Compare this to Felicity’s storyline in Season 7, where there is a lot of exploration and screen-time dedicated to Felicity’s desire to kill Diaz, and how she has changed as a person. We get none of that with Laurel.

The conflict between Laurel and Lance, where Laurel kept Sara’s death a secret from him, also feels like it just faded off with no satisfactory conclusion. During the apex of this conflict, Lance says that they two of them have always had a bond, but that by keeping Sara’s death a secret, Laurel has broken that bond. He doesn’t know how to deal with with she’s done to him. At a later confrontation, Laurel says that she is not giving up on their relationship. Lance says that he has tried really hard to forgive her, but can’t and don’t know if he will ever be able to. This is a very serious obstacle in their relationship, one that should be difficult to recover from. The show even explicitly says so. Yet, there is no resolution to this story line. Laurel convinced Lance to help save the city and to come around to Oliver, and that is where their relationship ends this season. In season 4, the relationship is back to normal. Laurel keeping Sara’s death a secret is alluded to once or twice in future seasons, but never really addressed.

[distractedhistotech]

Before MSA + 1: Planning

Arthur thought he may have made some friends.

There was Vivi who sat in on his religion lessons and then talked with him about them.  Uncle Lance had even started picking him up later during the week.  On the weekend, Arthur found himself spending a couple of hours talking about religion and then myths and then ghosts, and it felt so natural.

And then he started school.  He should have entered in 7th grade, but the teachers told him that he tested high enough that he could skip a grade.  Since Vivi was in 9th grade, that seemed like a good idea at the time.  He didn’t think he’d make friends at school.

And then a couple of 6th graders sat at his table on the first day of school and spent the whole lunch speaking with him.  And they did it the next day, and the next, and the rest of the week.  Then the next week.  Then they started meeting before lunch started.  Then Lewis started bringing lunches for Arthur.  Then Sydney started bringing comics and videos for Arthur to borrow.

And Arthur realized that he wanted to spend more time with them.

That was kind of tricky though.  He spent most of his time after school learning from Mr. Yukino, and he didn’t really want to explain to Lewis and Sydney why he needed those lessons. They’d been so accepting so far, but he didn’t want to push them.

He guessed that they could maybe spend time with each other on the weekend, but he had no idea how to go about that.  He guessed they’d spend time at someone’s house, but he didn’t know how to ask. Would their parents be all right with a strange kid spending time at their house?

Arthur only had one person he was comfortable with asking.  “Vivi, how do you ask someone if they want to spend time with you?” he asked as soon as Mr. Yukino ended the religion lesson.

Vivi blinked and then grinned.  “Arthur! Did you make a friend?”

“Maybe.  Plural.”

Vivi squealed and gave him a hug.  “Oh, I’m so proud of you!  Talking to people and making friends!”

“They, uh, actually just sat at my table and wouldn’t leave,” admitted Arthur.

“But still, you talked to them.  You didn’t leave or turn them away,” reasoned Vivi.  “That’s wonderful!”

Arthur blushed. “I-thanks. I think?”

“So, what are they like?” asked Vivi.  “C’mon details!”

“They…their names are Lewis and Sydney.  They’re a boy and a girl.  Lewis is really tall.  Sydney’s small.  Sydney talks about pretty much anything.  Lewis adds to what she talks about.  Sydney really likes comics.  Lewis likes…Japanese cartoons.”

“Anime,” corrected Vivi.  “Some people really take offense at calling anime Japanese cartoons.”

“Do you?” asked Arthur.

“Normally, yes,” admitted Vivi.  “But you’re kind of a special case.  You didn’t even know anime was a thing until a few months ago.  Now, tell me more about these two.”

“Lewis likes cooking. Sometimes he’ll bring food for Sydney and I.  Sydney says he should use his free time to have some fun, but Lewis says cooking is fun. He has to cook separate dishes for Sydney because she’s a vegetarian.”  He grinned.  “Sydney isn’t a very good cook.”

Vivi took a moment to memorize and appreciate the rare smile on Arthur’s face.  “It sounds like you guys are getting close.  Do I need to be jealous?” she teased.

Arthur’s smile was instantly wiped away and replaced with panic.  “N-no!  You’re my friend still!  I just kind of want to be friends with them too!”

Vivi pat his back. “Relax.  I’m joking.  You can be friends with all three of us.”  She grinned.  “Actually, why don’t you bring them over here?”

“No!”  Vivi and Ben both jumped at Arthur’s shout.  He winced.  “No, not yet.  I’ll have to explain to them why I’m getting lessons from your dad, and I don’t want them to know about the…”  Arthur swallowed.  “It…It was a cult, wasn’t it?”

Whoa.  That was the first time Arthur had ever acknowledged he’d been in a cult.  At least around Vivi.  He looked like he was about to cry.  Vivi wrapped him up in a hug and rubbed his back for a bit.  “Hey, it’s okay.  You’re out of there.  You’re safe. Nobody has to know about what happened to you if you don’t want them to.”  She paused.  Actually, if he really wanted to be friends with these two, he would probably have to tell them eventually.  Maybe not now, maybe not even for a few years, but if Arthur didn’t want to lose their trust…he’d have to come clean.  But for now, it was way too soon.  “Is there any reason we can’t go to their houses or your uncle’s?”

Arthur sniffled. “There’s not room at the garage, and Uncle Lance will be working.  And I’m a stranger.  Their parents wouldn’t want me around their children without supervision, would they?”

Vivi chuckled. “Oh, Arthur, if that was an issue, no one would ever make any friends.”  Her father had left them alone after all.  “If it bothers you that much, you can ask if they want to meet up at the local arcade.  I’ve been meaning to take you there anyway.”

“That’s where they have a bunch of videogame machines that you have to pay to play, right?” asked Arthur.

“Pretty much. Don’t worry.  It’s pretty cheap,” reassured Vivi.

“Uncle Lance has been giving me…he called it an allowance.  I don’t know why he’s giving me money.”

“Eh, some people make their kids do chores in exchange for spending money, and some just give ‘em money,” explained Vivi.  “He might change that once you get more comfortable living with him and have more free time.  Or if you really misbehave, but I can’t imagine you doing something bad enough to lose allowance privileges.”

“Um, well, I have money for that.”  Honestly, Arthur hadn’t used any of the money Uncle Lance had been giving him.  He didn’t have anything in particular he wanted to buy, and Uncle Lance was supplying him with everything he needed.

Vivi nodded. “Okay, so, just ask Lance for permission since you’ll have to go on the weekend or skip a class.  Then ask Sydney and Lewis if they want to hang out outside of school.”

Arthur bit his lip. “What if they say no?”

“What if they say yes?” countered Vivi.  “You gotta at least try.”

Arthur swallowed. “Right.  You’re right.  I’ll…I’ll talk to them about it.”

 Arthur brought it up the next day before he could lose his nerve.  “I want to hang out with you guys after school, but I don’t know if you’re allowed to have strangers over so we could go to an arcade, and maybe my other friend Vivi could come with us?”

Sydney and Lewis blinked at Arthur.  “Wow, you talked even faster than me just now,” commented Sydney.

“Oh, uh, should I say it again?” asked Arthur.  He wasn’t actually sure he could though…

“That’s okay.  I think I got it,” said Lewis.  He turned to Sydney.  “Would you mind?”

“Nope, but how would that work?”

Lewis winced. “We’ll have to go to my house because I look after my little sister for my parents,” he explained.  “I guess we could go to the arcade during the weekend if Sydney’s mom or dad wouldn’t mind looking after Belle.”

“Oh, no, that’s okay! I don’t mind going to your house,” said Arthur.

Lewis chuckled nervously.  “Um, yeah, that’s, uh, because you don’t know.  I live in a former funeral home.”

Arthur blinked. “Oh.”

“That’s got a cemetery right behind it,” continued Lewis.

“Oh…”  Arthur was starting to get a bit nervous.

“It’s haunted,” interjected Sydney.

“The house or the cemetery?” asked Arthur.

Sydney nodded. “Yes.”

Lewis chuckled nervously.  “I’ve lived there since I was a little kid, and Sydney’s been coming over for almost as long.  It’s perfectly safe,” he reassured Arthur.  “It just makes some people uncomfortable.”

Arthur nodded. Just hearing about it was making him uncomfortable.  Plus, what sort of effect would he have on the haunting?  What if he attracted something nasty?  Or made the ghosts already there violent?

Sydney noticed the subject was bothering Arthur and clapped a hand on his shoulder.  “Don’t worry.  I’ll protect you from the ghosts,” she promised.

Lewis nodded. “The ghosts are less active when Sydney’s around for some reason.  We don’t know why.”

Sydney leaned in close to Arthur.  “I think they’re scared of me,” she whispered conspiratorially.

Arthur blinked and studied Sydney.  She was smaller than usual, skinny, no muscle tone, had a large pair of glasses, and pretty much no attention span.  She wasn’t that scary unless you were afraid of talking to people.  Actually, she was kind of adorable when she wasn’t being overwhelming.

She’d definitely take offense to that.

“I…”  Arthur took a deep breath.  “Vivi likes ghosts,” he admitted.

“Oh, right Vivi. You’ve mentioned her a few times,” said Lewis.  “She’s a few years older, right?”

“She’s 14,” clarified Arthur.

“Okay, that might be a bit iffy,” admitted Lewis.  “But I’ll ask my parents if she can come too.  I’ll let you know what they say.”

Sydney’s hand shot into the air.  “And I’ll bring videogames and comics and videos and DVDs!  Maybe we’ll find something new you like!”

Arthur nodded. “Right…Thank you.”  He couldn’t quite bring himself to say how much it meant to him.

He hoped they saw it anyway.

[rueitae]

The Secrets of Beasts

Completely unplanned and the fastest 2000 words I’ve ever written. Much fluff and sap inspired by some talk on the Pidgance Positivity Server about show epilogues/time skips/general Paladin futures. And also this post.

Plance as usual, set at an undetermined amount of time post series.

The team is investigating a mysterious nebula, but the Green Lion is obstinate about Pidge joining them.

Although I’m almost 100% sure someone has done something very similar, here’s my humble take.

~~~~~

Pidge yawned, cupping a hand over her mouth, exhausted from near constant research. She should call it a night, it was near two in the morning. Anything for a mission, she supposed.

She had the sleeves of her Coalition uniform rolled up to her elbows and shirt unbuttoned, exposing the black flight suit. A bright green stain on it nearly matched her uniform, but it was only the remains of hastily cleaned up food goo, spilled earlier while her mind had been focused on the mission.

“Where did the time go,” she wondered, rubbing her eyes. At least she was finished with her studies to the point of personal satisfaction. Looking at the data any further wouldn’t be productive. Hunk would double check things for her anyway.

The Green Lion rumbled, expressing a concern for her Paladin.

Pidge grinned, feeling less tired with her closest companion in her mind. “I know I have to take care of myself, Girl. I’ll go to bed as soon as I report what I have to the team.”

It took only a few steps to walk over to her communications station, one that she had retrofitted to her specifications. Her father’s design for the Atlas left little to be desired, but the comfort of having a workstation in the Green Lion’s hanger reminded her of their time on the Castle, and it meant a lot to her.

She called up the Black Lion and Keith answered immediately. He smiled warmly and Kosmo joined him, nearly pushing Keith over to sniff the screen.

“Hey Pidge, any good news?” he asked while pushing the cosmic wolf gently to the side.

“Somewhat,” Pidge responded. “The nebula seems to be harmless at least, and there’s no evidence of the Rift Creatures that I can tell. You guys should be good to proceed.”

A second screen popped on to her monitor and Allura joined the conversation from the Blue Lion. “I have not sensed the Creatures either. Although, I would feel much better if we had the means to form Voltron.”

“I second that,” Hunk chimed in, creating a third screen on Pidge’s monitor. “I do not like poking at a complete unknown, even with all of us. It just seems like a bad idea.”

Pidge offered a condoling smile and a shrug. “Sorry I couldn’t be there. Green was pretty adamant about staying on the Atlas while Dad and Shiro run the system reboot.”

Pidge couldn’t help a grin as Lance finally rounded out the team on her monitor. His face read of angst and displeasure.

“You know listening to the Lions is for the best Lance, they know what they’re doing,” she told him. “Blue took us to the Castle remember? Stop pouting.”

“I’m not pouting,” he protested. His frown deepened. He was definitely pouting. Pidge found it adorable and endearing. “I’m a little annoyed that I haven’t seen my wife in a week and when I do, she calls Keith before me! Don’t I get any kind of marriage privileges?” he finished dramatically.

“Oh my gosh,” Hunk said. He tried to groan and feign equal annoyance, but the delight on his face told a different story. “Can you two not have a couples spat on the Voltron mind link?”

“Do not answer that question, Pidge,” Allura said firmly. “Lance has been a Goybeenian Monkling all movement because of your absence. He deserves it.”

“I am not!” Lance defended. Although wearing his helmet, Pidge could easily imagine his hairs standing on end.

“I think Green would have said something if the sample I have was truly dangerous. If Allura isn’t sensing anything, Keith isn’t sensing anything, and I haven’t found anything scientifically dangerous, then you’re good to proceed.” She yawned, unable to help it after her long winded answer. “Although if you wouldn’t mind waiting another six varga I'd like to be awake to watch.”

“Yes, I think that is a fantastic idea,” Lance agreed firmly, huffing and crossing his arms.

“Sounds good, Pidge. We’ll see you in six varga,” Keith confirmed. Kosmo hogged the right side of the screen, and despite Keith’s soothing pets, continued to whine and whimper.

“Everything alright with Kosmo? He usually isn’t this vocal.” Pidge worried.

Keith frowned, and didn’t answer right away. “He just misses you,” he finally said with a genuine smile. “Congratulations, by the way.”

“What are we congratulating?” Allura asked, confusion written on her face, and everyone else’s save Keith.

“Uh, Pidge is having a baby,” Keith said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

The video link went dead silent, but the chatter in their minds ran a mile a minute.

“I’m sorry, I’m what?” Pidge exclaimed.

Keith blinked. “You didn’t know? Kosmo says he’s been smelling it on you the week before we left.”

The unmistakable sound of Green standing on all fours took Pidge’s attention away from her team momentarily. The Lion’s eyes lit up bright yellow and unleashed a proud roar.

Allura gasped in delight. “This is wonderful news. And it now makes sense why the Green Lion refuses to leave the Atlas. She wanted Pidge to find out first.”

“Oh man, this is amazing!” Hunk said. “We are totally throwing a party. Lance, dude, buddy, you’re gonna be a dad!”

Lance’s screen wobbled slightly, a sign Hunk had steered the Yellow Lion to give the Red Lion a congratulatory bump. The Red Paladin himself hadn’t yet spoken, his jaw hanging open slightly.

Pidge sympathized, she wasn’t sure what to say either. She cleared her throat. “Well… I guess I can’t argue with a cosmic wolf and a ten thousand year old sentient mechanical lion that lives in my head.” Her heart swelled and she couldn’t help but smile. “So, hey Lance, I’m pregnant.” The words sounded so foreign, but none had ever felt better to say.

That finally broke Lance’s silence. Tears welled up in his eyes behind his helmet. “I’m gonna be a dad,” he said. “I’m gonna be a dad!” he said once more, animated and bouncing up from his chair.

“Okay, let’s let Pidge rest,” Keith said, still smiling. “We’ve got a mission to complete later. We should all do the same.”

Green lowered herself and opened the ramp through the mouth, beckoning Pidge to climb in and pilot.

Pidge couldn’t stop smiling. “Looks like I’ll be joining you guys after I get some sleep.”

“Sounds good, ‘night Pidge.” Keith ended the communication.

“Congratulations, Pidge, Lance. We look forward to seeing you soon,” Allura said before also dismissing herself.

“Okay I just need to know, what kind of cake are we talking?” Hunk asked. “Regular Earth flavors or are we thinking something a little more exotic?”

“We’ll talk about that later, Hunk,” Lance said, tinged with a bit of annoyance. “Can I just talk to Pidge for a second? Alone?”

Hunk slumped. “Yeah okay. Just consider Hovian chocolate. In the back of your minds.”

Pidge crossed her arms and smirked. “You and Matt are going to be co-godfathers. Go prepare yourself for that.”

“Pidge that’s not fair!” Hunk protested, tears streaming down his face. “You can’t pull something that important on me when I can’t hug you!”

“And now you know how I feel,” Lance pointed out dryly.

“Okay, okay I get it. I’m off!” He paused. “I love you guys.”

“Love you too, bud,” Lance said affectionately, sniffling to dry up his tears.

Hunk removed himself from the group conversation.

“He’s right you know,” Lance started. “I want to be with you right now, holding you and our kid.”

“I know,” Pidge agreed. “I’m still trying to wrap this around my head. It doesn’t feel real.”

“You’re the smartest person I know,” Lance said warmly. “It’ll come to you before me.”

Pidge fiddled her thumbs, bringing her abdomen in her field of vision. She brought her hand to rest where she knew months from now the pregnancy would be obvious. “It’ll be a new challenge,” she said. “But less stressful than saving the universe I think.”

Lance laughed. “Ask Lisa or my mom and they’ll probably tell us otherwise.” His smile changed to one radiating confidence and compassion. “We’re gonna do it as a team though, just like we do with Voltron. And it’s going to be great.”

His eyes were filled with nothing but love. It made her feel comfortable and warm.

“I know. I love you, Lance. I’ll see you in person soon. After I sleep I need to get the sample loaded. We can tell our families the good news when we get back - together.”

“Sounds like a plan. I love you too, Pidge. Send my kisses to our peanut.” With exaggeration, he blew a kiss and placed it on his monitor.

Pidge humored him and caught it dramatically, placing it on her belly. “You’re going to need a better nickname for the kid,” she chided. “You know I hate peanuts.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “I’ll have one by the time you and Green get here. Get some sleep, Pidge.”

“Night, Lance,” she responded.

He ended the group chat and Pidge stood for a solid minute just staring at the blank screens, mouth curved into a frown and missing him already.

She turned to Green with a wry grin. “You’re pretty good at keeping secrets, Girl. Anything else you got for me?”

A low, playful rumble was the only answer she received.

“Fine then. I guess millennia old beings can have their secrets,” she teased. Pidge walked up to Green, who closed her mouth to allow Pidge to pet her snout.

She received a purr in response.

Pidge wrapped her arms around Green’s nose as much as she physically could, smiling the whole time. She figured maybe it was the pregnancy, but all of a sudden Pidge was in a very affectionate mood. “I love you, Girl. You’re the best Lion, don’t let the others tell you any different.”

The Green Lion sent a wave of images through her mind; her bed, pillow, pajamas.

“Okay, okay, I get it. I’m exhausted,” Pidge said, pulling away. “I’ll see you later.”

As Pidge exited the hanger, Green sat up in its default mode, effortlessly looking proud and dignified.

Pidge made it as far as her pajamas and getting under the covers, but sleep eluded her. The excitement of discovery and a new personal mission kept her mind buzzing.

Eventually, she focused on the wall of photographs she and Lance used in decoration for their room. Many of them were of the whole Voltron team, a good number of them on some of their more memorable dates, but the one her eyes wandered to was their wedding photo.

Pidge could still feel the comfort of her dress, and how happy the white chiffon and green sash had made her, given to her as a gift from some of Matt’s close Coalition friends. She’d been expecting to wear her uniform, as Lance did, since wedding dresses hadn’t been on the forefront of minds while rebuilding Earth’s infrastructure and economy.

She’d missed having a good reason to wear a dress. The thoughtfulness still made her tear up to this day.

Now she’d have more reason. Even her baggiest clothes wouldn’t fit her eventually.

The thought made her curl up and close her eyes with a smile. The coming months would have their downsides, but all she cared about right now was how good and warm she felt. Lance beside her was the only thing that would have possibly made her happier.

It would only get better when she woke and joined her Voltron family.

Pidge decided the first thing she would do though, is EVA over to the Red Lion and hold her husband for all he was worth.

It would be a very long hug.

[djinmer4]

Heart to Heart (Misnamed Soulmates AU)

Amanda doesn’t know what’s up with Kurt right now but she wishes she’d never started dating him in the first place.  Despite the fact he broke up with her weeks ago, he seems to have taken an inordinate interest in her life.  First, it was helping her fill out all her college applications, then offering to chauffeur her to and from school then finally it was that disastrous blind date he arranged for her and Bobby when he decided to spy on them all evening.  Bobby had actually seemed pretty nice and possibly her type . . . except they’d pretty much both been rendered complete nervous wrecks by Kurt’s heavy-handed monitoring of their date.  Amanda considered giving Bobby another chance . . . after she figured out a way to get Kurt off her back.  This behavior was downright creepy.  He’d been less concerned about her when they were dating; in hindsight, half his mind had always been on Kitty Pryde the whole time.  Maybe she had turned him down and he was trying to get back into Amanda’s graces?  Well, fat chance of that happening.

Amanda had stayed late tonight, half to finish writing her application essay, half to have an excuse not to let Kurt drive her home.  She needed some time to think for herself and that wouldn’t happen in the car with his constant chatter.  Although that might not have been the best idea.

“Well, look who’s walkin’ alone at night.  The mutie-lover.”

God damn Duncan and his loser friends.  The jock had kept quiet about what had happened, but everyone in Bayville knew the former Homecoming King had somehow managed to lose his scholarship and been expelled from college.  He tried to play it off as him taking a gap year before transferring but rumor had it that whatever had happened had pretty much killed his prospects of joining any reputable institution.  Of course, there were plenty of others who’d gladly take an American All-Star even with a ruined reputation.  Whatever took Duncan, Amanda was going to avoid like the plague.

“If you must Duncan, you should know that Wagner and I broke up months ago.”

“Yeah, but everyone says he broke up with you, not the other way around.”  He circled her like a starving wolf.  “Not sure I wanna taint myself with the rat’s sloppy seconds, but you are easy on the eyes.  Let me-”

Amanda didn’t wait for him to finish talking.  She swung her bag to the side, cold-cocking one of them straight away.  Unfortunately, there were five of them and only one of her, so even getting one of them out didn’t improve her odds significantly.  Soon enough, they had her pinned down and were ripping her clothes off while Duncan unzipped his jeans.  Then suddenly he stopped, and the leer fell off his face.

“You feel that?  One good squeeze, and it’s all over for you Duncan.”  Amanda couldn’t tilt her head the right way to see but that sounded like Kitty Pryde.  “Now, unless the rest of you want to see him die, I suggest you all back off and leave.”  The ones holding her down didn’t seem inclined to follow but Kitty must have done something because Duncan ordered them to grab the downed guy and bring him to the hospital in a high-pitched squeal.  “They’re gone already!  Let the fuck go of my heart!”

Kitty stepped out from behind the blond.  “Bitch!”  He turned and tried to hit her but he just passed through her . . . and hit the tree instead.  There was the distinct cracking of bones breaking and Duncan howled.  Kitty didn’t seem at all sympathetic and she boxed him in the ears, knocking him out.  Then she came over to Amanda and held her hand out.  Gratefully, the black teenager took her hand and let her rival pull her up.

They walked in silence for a while before Amanda cleared her throat.  “I didn’t think the Professor allowed you to use your powers like that.”

“Yeah, well, the Professor’s not the one who’s walking into a warzone every day on his way to school.  As long as I don’t actually maim or kill anyone, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.  And if he does find out, it means he invaded my mind without my permission, making him a hypocrite.”

She side-eyed the younger girl.  “And you’re not worried about Duncan running off and turning his friends against you?”

“Duncan’s already gone and poisoned all of Bayville against us.  If the choice is between getting raped and killed today versus it happening sometime in the future, then I make the choice that will let me live a little longer.  I mean sure, if there were other people who’d get hurt if I didn’t back down right then, I’d reconsider.  But if I hadn’t done anything, all that would happen is you’d get hurt instead and I don’t think that’s the better option.”

“Thanks, then.”  There was a lull in the conversation then it was Kitty’s turn to break the silence.  “Hey, um, I don’t know if this would be your jam or not.  But if you like, I could give you some self-defense lessons.  I mean, I’m no Logan but wouldn’t you feel better if you had some way to defend yourself against jerks like that?”

Amanda was skeptical.  “Self-defense just for Duncan?” she asked dryly.

“Not just Duncan.  People like him.  Guys in general.  The police, maybe.”  And abruptly Amanda was reminded of the article one of her classmates had brought in that day for homework.  About the young black mother who had just been fatally shot in what should have been a routine speeding stop.

“You know,” her voice dropped to just above a whisper.  “Self-defense isn’t going to do much good against a bullet.”

“Unless you can phase through them or can move them with kinesis, mutant power isn’t much good against a bullet.  If Scott or Ms. Monroe get shot, they’d be in just as much trouble as a normal person.”  Kitty took a deep breath and braced herself.  “As Kurt pointed out, I can pass and walk away from all this any time I want to.  No one just looking at me can tell I’m a Jew or a mutant or even an X-Woman.  So the least I can do for people like you who don’t have that choice, I can teach you enough to get away or stall them so you can call for help.”

Amanda hated to admit it but it was surprisingly refreshing to hear someone like Kitty actually acknowledge her privilege.  Most white people seemed to think if they acted color-blind, it was enough.  “I accept.  First lesson this Saturday morning?”

The brunette groaned.  “Saturday afternoon, please!  I don’t want to get up early on the weekend if I don’t have to.”

Kitty was a good teacher if nothing else.  She hadn’t even made a fuss when Amanda had showed up in high heels and a miniskirt for the first lesson.  “Barefoot today and you’ll probably want your gym clothes next time.  But it’s good to practice in your every day wear too.”

Amanda had pulled out the ballet flats and sweats she’d packed.  She wasn’t an idiot after all.  But she did ask, “So, you’d be okay with me fighting like that?”

Kitty had answered dryly.  “It’s not like a bunch of gangbangers or white terrorists are going to wait for you to change clothes.  Work out clothes are good for learning basics and building up your stamina.  But you haven’t really learned anything until you can use it out in the real world and not just a dojo.”

“Do you think I should buy some mace?”

“Every woman should buy mace if possible.”  Amanda arched an eyebrow at that.  “Or else what?  It’s the woman’s fault if she ends up dead in a ditch?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.  Of course, it isn’t her fault.  But if we lived in a perfect world, neither of us would have to learn self-defense in the first place.  If you’re going to choose not to use a certain defense that’s fine but make sure it’s your decision and not something that other people force on you.”

“Does that apply to guns as well?”

“Oh, uh . . . “

Kitty and Amanda shared no classes in school.  Until Amanda had started dating Kurt, they hadn’t even known the other girl existed.  But honestly?  It was a relief to talk to someone she could relate with.  Both of them were from upper-middle-class families, were only children with no other relatives nearby (in age or location) and both came from marginalized communities (Kitty was Jewish and a mutant while, Amanda was black).  They didn’t share many interests (Kitty liked computer science and fashion while Amanda was more interested in history and literature) but it was such a relief to just vent to someone on occasion without having to explain why each little microaggression stung.  Sure, the other Insitutue kids got the big picture when someone tried to attack her physically or blatant slurs were muttered in their presence but most of them missed the whole cultural insensitivity or erasure that also occurred.  Kitty got it and could empathize with her.

The two of them had just finished up a session in the Danger Room and were cooling down, lying on the floor.  Kitty had done some of her techno-mojo and there was a beautiful starscape above their heads.  “Hey, can I ask you a favor?”

Kitty rolled over to look at Amanda.  “You can always ask.  Can’t always promise that I’ll do or follow what you want.”

“It’s about . . . “ the older girl hesitated for a second.  “It’s about Kurt.”  Kitty didn’t seem the least bit disturbed and gestured that she should go on.  “Do you think you could get him to back off a little?”

“What do you mean?”

“Kurt.  He was less involved with my life when we were dating than he is now.  It’s like I can’t do anything without him hovering over my shoulder.”

“I wondered why I was seeing less of him lately.”

“He didn’t talk about it to you?”

“I, um . . . “

Amanda ignored Kitty’s discomfort.  “You know, I should have realized from the very beginning, that it was always going to be you.”

“What makes you say that?”

“No, seriously.  Even our first date at the Sadie Hawkins dance, he spent the entire time staring at you until the dinosaurs showed up.”

“He did?  I didn’t even notice.”

“Yeah, you were talking to Lance.  To be fair, he did try to hide it but every time his mask slipped, he looked pretty devastated.”

“That jerk!  We’d agreed a month before then that he should try and get over me.”  Kitty frowned, her heart-shaped face and plush lips turning it into a little girl pout.  “Going on a date and spending the entire date staring at someone else doesn’t count as getting over anyone.”

“Hey, be nice,” admonished the black girl.  “He’d only had a month to try to come to terms and the Sadie Hawkins was probably like rubbing salt into the wound.  I don’t like the fact I was the rebound but I don’t think he meant to hurt me.”

“I don’t think Kurt really means to hurt anyone.  It’s just not him.  But he can be freakin’ insensitive at times.”

“I’m sure we all can be.”  A pause while the two of them digested that statement, reflecting on their own peccadilloes.  Amanda restarted the conversation.  “But no, really, could he stop?  Sometimes it’s helpful but the time he spied on my date with Bobby?  That was downright creepy.”

“Ugh, yeah, I’ll tell him that.  I think he’s trying to get you to forgive him but if he was spying on your date that goes a little too far.”

“I think I’d like to try again with Bobby, but only without the furry, blue chaperone.  Seriously, what was he thinking?  Why is he going so far anyway?”

Kitty shifted uncomfortably.  “That . . . might be my fault.”

“How so?”

“Well . . . I told him I didn’t want to date him until you’d forgiven him.”  Amanda sat up to look down at her teacher.

“Why’d you do something like that?”

“Because what he did was pretty terrible.  Because he should do something to make up for what he had done to you.  And finally, because it just wouldn’t feel right to start a relationship with him when you were still hurting from the break-up.  Wouldn’t feel clean.”

“You’re not . . .  you didn’t decide to help me to make up for what Kurt did, did you?”

Kitty narrowed crystal blue eyes at her.  “Of course not, that would be silly.  Kurt’s responsible for his own stupid actions.  I helped because a bunch of retarded jocks decided to attack you.”  She then reluctantly admitted.  “On the other hand, if I hadn’t known you through Kurt I might not have offered to teach you self-defense.  I would have escorted you home and that would have been the end of it.”

Amanda sat in silence for a few minutes while Kitty watched her.  “I forgive him,” she said abruptly.

“What?”

“I said, I forgive him.  I forgive Kurt for what he did to me.”

“You do?  But why?  He hasn’t really done anything to deserve forgiveness.”

“It’s not about what he’s done, it’s about the way I feel.  And I don’t want to think that our friendship is contingent on me being mad at him.  That would suck.”

“But-”

“You don’t think starting a relationship while I’m still upset is good.  Well, I don’t think the X-Men only becoming friends with me because one of their friends screwed up and the rest of them need to make amends for him is any better.  I want to think that our relationship is clean, that it’s based on liking each other and shared interests.  Not you just putting up a friendly facade to make me feel better.”

“I guess.  But are you sure about it?”

“Yes.”  The black girl nodded her head, first hesitantly then did it again with more certainty.  “I mean, I’m not going to forget what he’s done anytime soon.  But he can stop trying to make up for it or whatever he thinks he’s been doing the past few months.  You have my blessing or permission or whatever it is you need to start dating.”

“Thank you, Amanda.”

[glowamber]

The Pretty Cages [2/2]

Rapunzel longs to escape from Gothel and actually live her life. Eugene cannot imagine there is more for him than this. No matter how you dress it up, they’re both trapped in cages and can only look beyond the bars.

It can be dressed up, it can be painted, it can be bedazzled and awe inspiring-- it's still a cage.

[Two-shot, Circus AU. Set in 1870s Chicago. 2.9k words]

Read on Ao3 here

Beyond his caravan door, there is a circus teeming with life. The faces change and beyond the fence and the gates, there are cobble streets that change, too. Further beyond the streets, there are neighborhoods and cities. Outside the circus, there is a world he may never know.

He leaves his caravan every morning, hungry for something he has never had a name for, never had a solid idea about. It is like the smoke that trails their trains, like the smog that hangs over the buildings-- it looks tangible but his fingers cannot reach to even determine the validity of it all.

There is this hole in his chest and he yearns to fill it, to find the place where the dizzying tempo of the circus crawls to a slow. Where he can feel his pulse sober and relax, where the music in his head matches the music he can hear. He doesn’t know where home is, has never known a real home before this. There were only orphanages upon orphanages before the train that took him here, but he remembers the soft sweet voice of a nun as she ran her fingers over his hair and that is what he thinks is the closest thing to a true dream. The quiet still moments of comfort, of a voice he cannot really remember, of a ghost of a touch through his hair; he chases the memory in his waking moments and reinvents it when he sleeps.

The years have changed him, made him taller and dashing and daring, given him everything he should ever want, and he still hungers for more. Still longs for the idle path that does not collapse on itself after a week, that stands small and somehow proud, with walls of brick and mortar and glass panes. He feels guilty for it, ashamed, the Baron took him from a platform with his best friend and gave them purpose. From picking up animal shit to setting up tents to walking the high wire to leaping from trapeze to trapeze, he has grown and developed, polished into a diamond by the hands that plucked him from the refuse.

The same hands hold him back, press down on his shoulders when his eyes dare look beyond the bright lights to the bricks and mortar of the cities and keep him rooted in the ring. He is useless outside of the circus, there is no place for him, no hope for him. He has heard these words since he was five, he knows them by heart, knows them as well as he knows the grip that saves his life when he swings to and fro. Irish, Jewish, illiterate; his only place is in the air and by Stalyan’s side.

He owes a lot, to the Baron, to the Circus, but he feels like he is a trophy and not a person, sometimes. The feeling has been cultivated by a blonde with the prettiest green eyes he has ever seen, they hypnotize him. There is no color in the circus that is as bright as her, that is not smudged and dinged by time and grease. She shines, she sparkles, like something he once saw out of a train window-- like fields of green and big blue skies, the likes of which he’ll never see again.

Where she walks, color follows. She breathes new life into what she sees, with her innocence and delight, taken in by the smallest thing, details he has never spotted. She takes his hands and the world crawls to a slow as she marvels and wonders over things he has forgotten. Popcorn is a wonder and she hates the amount of salt and butter, but she throws it by the handful in her mouth and loves the texture and smell. She calls it strange, and he is forever drawn to how her lips pucker and her eyes widen. A mixture of disgust and delight, the first time he saw it, he laughed and laughed until he thought he might cry.

Rapunzel comes from the streets outside, dressed oddly, talking strangely; she is one of them and she is not one of them. There are things she doesn’t know that he does, things he does know and she doesn’t. She begs him to teach her the trapeze, that she wants to fly, to be free; he thinks she doesn’t know that freedom isn’t found in the tent, that it’s outside. She offers to teach him to read, to write, and tells him it’s never too late to know; he thinks she’s lying. If she’s not, the Baron was, and he hesitates about that. The Baron gave him life, gave him purpose, took him and Lance under his wing and let him soar above the crowds.

He thinks he wants to come down.

Beyond his caravan door, there is a circus that is the life he has only known. The faces change daily and beyond the fence and the gates, he can see that the cobble streets he never gets to walk change, too. Further beyond the streets, there are neighborhoods and cities he wants to wander through. Outside the circus, there is a world he secretly longs to be apart of and experience.

Her hand is in his, warm with little spots of thickness still coming in from hard work. He can feel her pulse, constant and sweet, and his heart slows to match the steady beat of hers. In his head he can imagine the nun’s lullaby, hummed, he can find the notes in each easy breath she takes. She is excited but there is an evenness that he envies; he feels sweaty and she is so calm, the rock in his storm, the lighthouse in his night.

“Run away with me,” She says to him, and her eyes are alight with colors he has never found a match for in the months she’s been here, never found the proper name for. Is it that easy, he wonders, trapped in her gaze like she is Medusa and he is turned to stone, but his blood still pumps and he can feel her grip, holding his world together. She jumped from a window to find her freedom, wings still clipped, and she has wandered the ground while he was above, envious of the air he reached, the heights he soared to.

And then her feathers came in and she called his home another cage.

It confused him, alarmed him, he rejected the notion and beat his fists to the walls of his caravan as her words repeated over and over for him. He has not been outside the fence since he arrived, he has never been allowed to meander out even with the others as they carouse-- hell, he is not allowed to even sit with the other performers at meals and talk. He may only perform, only supposed to speak with Baron and his men and his Stalyan and Lance and Cass, and now that he has seen the edges of his life, he hates it.

The sick feeling of guilt and shame weighs his shoulders down, he should be grateful for all he has been allowed to have, all the Baron has shared with him. He was once awed like Rapunzel was by the color and music and people, but it spun him around til he accepted it as ordinary. It was still a privilege to be here, an honor he earned with performances and his blood and sweat and tears, so he doesn’t understand when the tent cloth with its stripes really became bars that held him in.

He can climb the ladder and wow a crowd, he can dive and he can soar and they will jump to their feet to scream; but he cannot fly. He go to such amazing heights, but he can only go where he is allowed to go, trapped in a cage that is painted gold and now the paint is peeling away. There is the rust and the dirt and the edges that will cut him if he tries to come too close, but there it is, right there just outside of his grasp, just within his view.

A world that is fresh and new, exciting, soothing, one that taps taps taps along like the slow drip of a spigot.

It’s not perfect, but the world is wide and open, he is limited only by his ethnicity and status. He sits by himself in his caravan and drums his fingers over the worn wood, smoothed by repeated use and touch, eroded by his skin, by his time. Years, this has been his place. Everyone who has ever gotten close to him outside of the few he is allowed to talk to has gone, left him, and Rapunzel remains constant-- except now she wants to leave. Now she wants to go, too. She said she wanted to join the circus, but even as large as the tents are, even as high as they rise; it’s not enough.

The only difference between the ones before and her is that… she wants him to come with her.

He leans back on his bed, trailing his eyes along the nicks and dents from years of use. There’s where Cass threw a knife, this is where Lance fell and broke the cabinet, here is where he punched a hole; the wood holds his memories like a book and if he runs his fingers along them, he can read his past. Hear the laughter and shouting and feel the rush and the arms around him, the hands on his back. He could give this all up, disappear like it meant nothing, but he can’t look away from the other side of the caravan, where his best friend’s bed is opposite to his.

He’s still staring when Lance comes back from practice, sweaty and a little bloody from a nick on his cheek. The dopey grin on his face is wiped away when he meets his gaze and he feels the heat of him as he sits next to him, filling the emptiness of his space with the warmth only he can. More than a friend, he’s a brother, he’s the only family he has. The knife thrower only counts when the sharp edges aren’t pointed at him.

“She wants me to run away with her.” And he doesn’t need to explain further, to say more. He can feel the wobble in his voice, the uncertainty that seizes him and shakes him up. With one question, he is rattled to his core. Rapunzel has waltzed into his life and turned his world upside down and he hasn’t even thought of Stalyan beyond a cursory ‘This is going to make her mad.’ His world is built up to marry her because that’s what Baron wants him to do and she’s so distant to him that he hasn’t considered how she’ll react.

He hates that it makes Rapunzel’s case so much stronger. Run away. To what? To where? His hands drag down his face and he breathes in, breathes out, tries to focus on the callouses as they press against his face.

Beyond his caravan door, there is a circus that has trapped him in its fake grandeur. The faces are full of hope and awe and they change daily, and beyond the fence and the gates, he can the cobble streets that inspire him with the same sort of wonder and excitement. Further beyond the streets, there are neighborhoods and cities he longs to be apart of, envious of the simple pleasures they take for granted. Outside the circus, there is a whole wide world that is begging him to come and partake of it.

He itches and he longs and he finds his feet beneath him. He always knew the answer, didn’t he? He was scared of it, he’s still terrified of it, he feels the quake in his bones and the tremble of his hands, but it's right there in front of him, isn’t it?

He thinks of her hand outstretched to him, covered in paint but soft, her skin warm and freckled from the sun, the way she shone even in the grunge around them. Trash piles around them, her dress dirty and torn, her hair rumpled and braided in loops down her back; Rapunzel still looks untouched, unbroken by the circus life. Baron will try to break her if he has more time, she will beat against a new cage until she falls to pieces at his feet, but she has held out her hand and the words still play on his ears like the lullaby from his childhood. A siren’s song of dreams long gone.

‘Run away with me.’

It echoes in his heart, pulses in his blood, the whisper of a promise of a life outside-- not alone, free, and something else that he holds his breath about because he hasn’t the name of the emotion she invokes him in, that she shines so brightly with. He’s seen it on Lance, on Cass, never really directed his way-- not even from Stalyan in her visits.

The haversack beneath his bed comes out and he is pulling out the meager amount of clothes he has, not his performance outfits, to pack away. His few prized possessions get bundled into the clothes and tucked away; a comb from the nun, a bandana from Lance, a small miniature painted by Rapunzel… With each item, he feels heavier, weighed down by insecurities and fears. He’s making the choice, but is it right?

It’s not until he looks up and sees Lance with a stuffed bag of his own, a loopy grin on his face, that the sinking feeling in his gut slips away. “Buddy, you can’t get rid of me.” He’s told, and the smile that splits his own face, he can’t believe-- he can’t wait.

“It’s an adventure,” He risks and Lance claps him on the back, pushing him out the door. It’s odd to creep through the shadows of the circus, slipping past tents and stalls and the rabble that linger after shows. It’s late, that’s the only way this will work, and he can’t wait to trade the air of mold and sick and salt for something new. The ground is muddy and sinks beneath his feet, but the straws keeps it from making too much noise, keeps him from slipping and falling as they rush away from their home of the last seventeen years.

Just outside the gates ahead, just outside the pillars of yellow and red striped wood with a banner stretched high above, he can see a blonde shifting side to side on her toes with her fingers laced behind her back, her braid swinging like a metronome that hypnotizes him. She’s so familiar, the sight so welcoming, his heart seizes and he feels the bubble in his chest grow. He’s so close, he’s so near, he doesn’t even mind the dark brunette standing beside her tossing a knife up and down.

He wants to grab her, lift her, swing her about and sing her praises; this is a woman who found her wings and refused to be caged again, who coaxed him out of his own. She pried apart the bars and smiled and gave him the choice to be free or to stay in his pretty gilded cage. Instead, when she turns to face him, delight coloring her whole person toe to crown, he takes her hand in his and pulls and the bubble bursts, finally.

He laughs and she laughs, running down the sidewalk and skipping over cracks and holes. He’s on the ground, he’s got both feet planted on terra firma and somehow he’s still soaring high with the wind against his cheeks. It’s terrifying, it’s invigorating, it's the world slipping away from him and welcoming him all at once.

“No more cages, Flynn!” She sounds like a nightingale with the sweetest of music, and he does spin her, at last, taking her by the hips and lifting her high in the air as he pirouettes before her arms find her way around his shoulders and she sinks down. Their foreheads touch and the look in her eyes almost undoes him completely, he has never felt this light in the air, never felt so much joy even when he captivated hundreds. A few months with her and he is spilling over, overwhelmed with everything and relishing every moment of it.

Outside the Baron’s Big Top, there is a world that actually wants him and welcomes him, beckons him to explore it and find his place in it.

He feels the smile, feels the softness of her hands on him, the weight of her joy washing over him, and there is something he wants to say, one last shackle to undo before he can step free of it all finally.

“Eugene.”

And the weight lifts and, god, it feels good to say that again. To be someone who he wants to be, someone who isn’t just an act to be locked away in a caravan and carted out for performances. To be a person.

And her brows pull and she tilts her head a little, and he keeps smiling, a hand up to cup her cheek and run his thumb along the rosey spot just below her eye. She leans into his touch, welcomes it like they’ve done this time and time again, and it feels like it, even though this is the first time they’ve dared be so close. When he speaks next, she comes alive again, the smile enough to keep him warm all through the rest of his life because of the understanding and sheer happiness she feels that he’s shared something so important with her.

“My name’s Eugene Fitzherbert.”

[ganymedesclock]

Do you think Keith will ever come back to Voltron as a pilot? If yes, which Lion do you think he'll be flying and what will happen to it's previous pilot? If no, do you think there's any change of him getting his own personal ship similar to a Lion?

I think that there’s an enduring connection between Keith and Red, and Lance and Blue, and Shiro and Black, that has not been broken.

I think there’s a reason all of the characters keep those colors- and how even with Keith wearing Blade armor, no one wears the Red Armor in his absence. Not even Allura when she’s supposed to be pretending to be Keith.

Because as I’ve said before- Lance doesn’t take up Red’s character when he works with Red. He doesn’t become someone driven by instinct, he doesn’t act like an arm pilot, he doesn’t act like a right hand. He is still a leg, he still embodies the same things and operates the same way.

What I think is going to happen, going forwards, is flexibility and versatility. They’ll be able to adjust formation as-needed through, I think, all the characters building connections with all the Lions over time. That doesn’t change that they have one ideal configuration. Lance complaining that Red is too fast and uncontrolled, Keith struggling with Black, complaining this isn’t who he is as a person and that Black doesn’t respond the way he’s used to- Hunk saying he doesn’t want to leave Yellow, Pidge finding Black’s cockpit dimensions awkward and unsuited to her. Allura expressing repeated frustration that Blue doesn’t work like the Castle and that in order to succeed she had to put herself in Lance’s mindset, not her own.

I think what they’re doing is coming closer as a team and conducting exercises in empathy, but, ultimately, that might not be what they’re cut out for, and personally I think it’s frustrating that a lot of people seem to take the idea that if Allura’s not in a Lion all the time she’s not doing anything important. You have to understand, the Castle of Lions is goddamn terrifying. It’s a warship that, at this point in the plot? Is pretty much eating entire fleets of imperial cruisers for breakfast. Everybody jokes about the particle barrier always failing and ignoring the fact that nobody else has anywhere near the level of defense the castle has.

We don’t see other people talking about their barrier failing because they’re busy having their ship take direct hits instead. Half the time with the castle, the “oh no” to the barrier failing is “gasp, we might actually have something make it to the OUTER LAYER of the castle’s body!”

Almost every other incarnation of the Castle of Lions is, frankly, a joke. Nine times out of ten it’s a stationary, near-crumbling wreck whose defenses have to be piloted from an outer balcony. The VLD Castleship is absolutely death metal compared to all of them.

They made the Castle Allura’s Lion. This is the thing that’s bound to her, that she and only she can use to its full potential. It’s an archetypal fairytale image, the princess cloistered in her castle, made into a battleship worthy of being the seat of power behind something like Voltron.

Now, working with Blue is important. It was important for Allura to get that armor and normalize taking the field as-needed. As she says herself, there is no reason that she should sit on the sidelines and ask other people to risk their lives on her behalf.

So I think this whole shuffle exercise is them getting closer to each other- because to work as a successful team, more than just personal introspection and understanding is necessary. If anything, this utter lack of prior shuffles with the Paladins of Old may have killed them. Zarkon never allowed himself to see things from any perspective but his own- he would never take a back seat.

So the shuffles in this generation are helping them understand each other, and learn valuable lessons from mindsets that aren’t their own. Allura can’t really, nor should she, become a second Lance- but she can learn to embrace a bit of his mentality in that it is okay to ask for help, connect and network with others- become open to the flow of things and not trying to command the tide.

I think the particular ado about connecting with the Black Lion comes back to something that’s been going on with Shiro- where, there’s kind of a progressive demystification of him. At first he’s the hero, he’s the role model, he’s the one person who never gave up on Keith and everybody is starstruck by him. I wouldn’t say they take him for granted, because the biggest reason they don’t really reciprocate is because Shiro very much keeps his issues in a jar and occasionally adds quarters to it when he accidentally blows up at someone in front of his team.

And they’re moving away from that. They’re ending up... understanding a lot more of where Shiro’s coming from and what Keith has mostly discovered is that being Black Paladin is horrifyingly stressful. Personally, I think that was the one decisive thing that stopped Lance from connecting to Black- “This is your moment” isn’t the right mindset to have. He could easily connect with Black, if like Keith initially in s2e1, Lance went into it seeing it as a responsibility rather than a privilege.

I mean, personally I think it’s interesting that all of the others’ issues connecting to the Black Lion play to their virtues.

Keith knows how to succeed (intuition and higher knowledge) but also hates it, he can’t get away from how wrong it feels and that causes him massive anxiety (reliance on passion and “what feels right”) that he would sooner avoid the team entirely than continue to take missions with the Black Lion.

Hunk flat-out doesn’t want to try because he doesn’t want to leave the familiarity and comfort of the Yellow Lion (focus on foundation, prior knowledge, support)

Lance tries to connect emotionally rather than as a duty (emotions being Blue’s Domain) and even perceives Black’s rejection as emotional- “The Black Lion hates all of us!”

Pidge, you feel like it could work- she doesn’t have any real reservations besides wondering if she could adjust her situation, and then realizing she’s too short/would need to grow into the Black Lion’s dimensions or rig accommodations (growth, development, advancing)

Allura arguably misses it in the opposite direction from Lance- her sense of higher duty/divine mission drives her desire to take up her father’s fight, to be a guiding light to the team- and her determination to connect through ideals fails both Black- ruled by more of a sense of immediate pragmatism and “field officer” mentality- and Red, ruled by passion and instinct.

While we see that Shiro successfully reconnects with Black when he is able to put his own fears of unworthiness (same thing that killed Lance) and detached sense of a higher goal (same thing that killed Allura, and had him trying to force Keith into the position out of the idea it would be better for him) aside and focus on something that’s driven by both compassion and pragmatism.

“People’s lives are at stake.” His team is right in front of him, over the coms, in danger, and someone needs to be there. It doesn’t need to be him but nobody else is in a position to leap to their defense- definitely not Keith, who had no intention of hurting them, and was in trouble himself- and someone had to be there.

This is interesting because I think there’s going to be another part to this- of Shiro having to connect with the other paladins’ Lions, and struggling himself. He might not struggle with Blue as much as Allura, but it’d be quite a conflict for him to engage with a nurturing presence when he’s so inclined to gritting his teeth and going “this doesn’t hurt, I can keep going.”

Personally, combinations I’d be really interested in seeing:

Shiro engaging with Yellow- Shiro’s trauma, versus the Lion who’s overwhelmingly about security and protection

Someone attempting to engage with the Castleship the way Allura does- giving us a greater insight into what Allura’s ship is set up for. So far all we know is that with the Castle, Allura doesn’t have to compromise on anything- she commands and it follows, tirelessly- suggesting a bit of a perfectionist nerve. In that sense I’d expect Lance, who’s so interpersonally focused, to have the hardest time with that since he’d keep trying to compromise with the Castle, which, has nothing to tell him.

Keith working with Green- because of all the information Keith has access to, the guy really doesn’t allow himself to be curious nearly enough. His own quest for answers is really halfhearted compared to Pidge ever since s2e8 gave him an answer he didn’t like and even before then, he tends to exercise a certain learned helplessness about a lot of his personal mysteries.

Lance and Hunk swapping Lions (Blue and Yellow)- since they probably have the best understanding and respect for each other it’d be interesting to see them work through that interpersonally.

Hunk in Red- since Hunk and Keith aren’t necessarily super close at this point but Hunk is very interested in Keith. Also because Hunk could definitely rock Passion And Instinct temporarily if he was super mad about something.

[panda-noosh]

hey i've got a pretty specific ask, but it's long and doesn't all fit in the askbox so I'm gonna split it into 3 separate asks - but it's all the same prompt!!! sorry that it's so long, but I'd love to see you write it if you have time!

Request: Shiro'sfem!reader s/o meeting up with Lance and Keith when back on earth andthey're accompanied by an old female friend of theirs from theirclass at the garrison (garrison girl - GG for short but you can nameher whatever). GG notices that s/o is wearing Shiro's military dogtags and is silently like ‘that should be me’ cos she’s been inlove with him since pre-kerberos but it was unrequited because shewas younger and keith’s buddy so ‘big bro’ Shiro only ever sawher as that. (1 of 3)

SoShiro joins them all in the evening at a bar and is all love-y withhis s/o upon arrival + GG is all ‘TAKASHI I MISSED YOU’ and grabshim into a huge hug and for the rest of the night is overly flirtyand trying real hard to make s/o jealous and start a fight but s/o isamused like ‘gurl he loyal AF good luck’ cos she can see thatalthough Shiro is enjoying GG’s company, the neutral body languagehe uses with her and the look of romantic disinterest in his eyes forGG is super clear. (2 of 3)

Softpost night out reassurance to S/O from Keith/Lance when they get home(after Shiro falls asleep) that space dad's only interested in hiss/o and she will never have anything to worry about and that shirowould only ever give his tags away when he was certain the otherperson was the one forever. [tbf this part could actually be separatefrom the rest of this ask if you prefer] ALSO Man I’m soooooo sorrythis was LONG and super specific hahahahaha thanks!! [3 of 3] 

   Her attempts weregood, at least.

   She was clearlytrying hard. Every little giggle that escaped her mouth, or the wayshe would slap Shiro's arm whenever he said anything remotely funny.The way she would practically throw herself across his lap toexaggerate just how hilarious theman was.

   Itwas a good try, but one that was clearly falling flat.

   Youdidn't want to be that person. Thatperson who was so protective over their significant other thathanging out with the opposite gender was banned, off limits, nothappening. Those types of people were annoying, clearly with mildtrust issues.

   Andyou trusted Shiro. That much was clear by the way you were sitting sopatiently between Keith and Lance, watching the show unfold.

   Shirohad arrived only five minutes late to the meal Lance had planned forthe day. He had wanted to get to know Hannah, who was an old familyfriend of Shiro's. You had met her once or twice before; oncewhenever you and Shiro weren't dating, and that gave you plenty oftime to understand just how she felt about your now-boyfriend.

   Shehad always had a crush on him, you knew. From the way she blushedwhenever he walked up to her, or the way she always stiffened at theside of him whenever he addressed her. He called her 'Han' a lot ofthe time, a quirky nickname which was all in good fun, though Hannahtook it as more than that, apparently.

   Thedinner was going well in your eyes. Hannah was quite simplyembarrassing herself, which didn't take away from the fact that yourfettuccine alfredo tasted incredible.

   “So,Shiro,” Hannah started once again. She had started almost everysentence she had spoken with those two words. “Tell me more aboutthe Garrison, then. What happened to you and Matthew?”

   Youinwardly shivered at the way she used Matt's full name. Lance andKeith nearly choked trying to hold back their laughter.

   Shirowas oblivious to the ongoing inside joke being passed between you andthe two boys. He turned to his friend, smiling like he always did.Her face turned beetroot red at the attention and she quickly took asip of her water in an attempt to hide any evidence.

   “Wedon't wanna talk about that here,” Shiro said. “It was a badtime. We're here to have fun, right?”

   Shiroreached over the table and took your hand at the question. Hannah'ssmile immediately wavered, whilst you smiled at Shiro and nodded,intertwining your fingers and running your thumb soothingly over hisknuckles.

   “Right,”Lance hollered. “Han, you're the guest of honour. Tell us a bitabout you.”    Keith's face was red as he tried to hold backhis laughter, and you swiftly kicked him under the table in anattempt to tell him to shut up.

   Hannahraised her perfectly plucked eyebrows, folding her arms over herchest as Shiro pulled his hand back. She seemed to relax at theaction, though Shiro's eyes were still on you, a silent question:“What's going on with Lance and Keith?”

   Youshook your head in reply, waving your hand to inform him that youwould tell him everything later.

   “OnlyShiro calls me Han,” Hannah said. She didn't miss the opportunityto run her fingers over Shiro's arm, which made Keith and Lance bothsplutter with laughter. “Anyway, there's not much to tell. Shiroand I have been friends for as long as we can remember, and he'salways been a big help in my life, you know? We met-”

   “Theyasked about you, Han,” Shiro cut in. “Not about our friendship.I'll tell them all about that later on.”

   Keithcovered his face at this point, nearly spitting up his onion ring ashe tried to bite back even more bubbling laughter. Lance was coveringhis mouth, silent tears of joy rolling down his cheek at thesituation.

   Youcould feel your own amusement bubbling to the surface, and youquickly took a drink of your water in an attempt to hide it.

   Thenight continued on like this – poor attempts at flirting, Shiro'sodd bursts of PDA which made Hannah's entire body tense up. She knewyou two were together – the second time you had the 'privilege' tomeet her, you and Shiro didn't hide the fact that you were a couple.

   Shewas just trying to win something now.

   Gettingback home, you, Lance and Keith were finally allowed to let loose thebubbles of laughter you had been trying to hide the entire night.

   Shirowent straight to bed as soon as he was in the door, pecking yourcheek goodnight before grumbling about how full he was until hisvoice became nothing but a dull pang againstthe thick walls of the ship.

  Assoon as the door closed, you ran your hands through your hair. Keithand Lance fell back against the sofa, howling in uncontrollablelaughter.

   “Didyou see whenever she dropped her napkin and tried to get Shiro topick it up for her?” Lance exclaimed, throwing his head backagainst the cushions he had just squashed. “Oh my God, how you kepta straight face out there, Y/N, I have no idea.”   You shookyour head. “I don't know how I did it, either. It was soembarrassing.”

   “Atleast you know he's loyal,” Keith commented, coming down from hishigh a lot quicker than Lance was. “You have nothing to worryabout. Seriously. We all saw how he was with you tonight.”

   Youarched a brow as you slid off your dress coat, revealing the plaingrey shirt you wore underneath. “How he was?”

   “Shiro,”Keith confirmed. “Don't pretend like you didn't notice. He was allover you tonight. It made our Han quite mad.”    “Oh, mybaby,” Lance squeaked through his laughter.

   Yourolled your eyes. Shiro had never been one for PDA, and the oddholding of your hand or the odd smile sent in your direction wasn'tenough for you to believe that that part of his personality hadchanged, though it certainly was different from what you were usedto. He usually barely even touched you in public – the odd smile,but nothing more. If he was leaving, he would peck your cheek andmaybe tug at your hand, but usually leaving the ship meant business.

   Youpondered on the thought for a while as you get to cleaning up thekitchen which Pidge, Hunk, Allura and Coran had left in a state.

   Youwere almost positive Shiro knew about Hannah's advances towards him.Perhaps he thought you cared – perhaps that was why he was goingthe extra mile to make sure you knew you were his one and only.

   Thatwas the thing, though – you knew. He proved it to you everyday, andhe didn't need to go out of his comfort zone to do it. The way hewoke you up every morning with a soft kiss to your temple, or the wayhe sometimes made you coffee and he apologised whenever he realisedhe had made it too strong, but you would drink it anyway because youtried hard, baby.

   Thatwas what proved to you that you two were in love. Not how he reactedto some girl who was trying too hard.

   Yousmiled to yourself. Our Han.

[voodoospeedcult]

Questionable Ethics?

A couple of years ago we saw Lance Stroll make his F1 debut, the kid was quick occasionally and there was speculation that he could be the future of F1. Since that debut Lance has been the butt of many jokes due to the complete lack of consistency and control. Now, we are not saying that Lance is a hack, he did acquire a Super License which in itself proves that he does have skill but he doesn’t belong on the F1 grid. A little background for those out of the know, Lance is the son of Lawrence Stroll, a Canadian billionaire worth an estimated 6.4 billion dollars. Lawrence invested in some big fashion brands such as Tommy Hilfiger, Ralph Lauren and Pierre Cardin. He is a pretty hardcore car and race guy, he has a large collection of Ferraris and he owns the Circuit Mont-Tremblant in Canada. It easy to see how his son Lance got behind the wheel of a race car and it’s very easy to see that Lawrence has invested a lot to make his son’s dreams come true. He bought him various seats with race teams over the years including the seat at Force India (now Racing Point). Now this is where things get ugly and to be very questionable. Half-way through the 2018 season, Force India has had enough of Lance and made a number of statements hinting that he wouldn’t be with the team in 2019. When daddy hears about this he puts a group of investors together and buys into Force India team, at the end of 2018 he buys the entire team, renames it Racing Point, fires a lot of people who were critical of his son and of course leaves his son in the seat of one of the two Racing Point cars.

2019 was… it was pretty ugly for the team as a whole, the only bright point was Sergio Perez (the other Racing Point driver) finishing 10th in the championship with consistent top 10 finishes through the season while Lance finished 15th, to be fair had a great run in Germany and finished 4th in that wild race (if you didn’t see the race go hit YouTube and be totally entertained). The team finished 7th in the Championship out of 10 teams. It was what everyone expected of the team even with all the preseason hype, everyone knew it was just hype and that the team would be mid-pack at best. With the 2019 season over it was time to get ready for 2020. For me personally I love the off season because I love the business of racing. I have made my 28 year career in the business of motorsports, I love the off season moves, business, all of it. But the off season following 2019 made me sick! So Lawrence Stroll wants his team to be more competitive as any team owner would but instead of doing the hard work he and the investment sheep that follow him bought a large stake in Aston Martin. From the outside it looks like just another business deal for Lawrence until you dig into the details. Aston Martin sponsors the Red Bull team, that will now end after the 2020 season and Racing Point will become Aston Martin Racing Point, just good marketing? Keep reading. Mercedes Benz owns 5% of Aston Martin. In that deal is a technology sharing agreement which allows Aston Martin to use Mercedes and AMG parts and pieces, much of the new Aston Martin DBX road going SUV road car is actually Mercedes and that is just the start, there are dozens of crosses between Aston Martin and Mercedes, from sharing the same wind tunnel to working hand in hand on many road car and F1 car developments and programs. Hmmm… what does this mean for the F1 team? It means that things keep getting more questionable once the 2020 cars are unveiled and testing starts. The 2020 Racing Point car, named the RP20 is just last years championship winning Mercedes Benz W10 painted pink. While just speculation at first, once testing started it was evident. And the. The ball keeps rolling... Aston Martin was committed to the new ACO HyperCar program, was being the key word here because almost immediately after all of this happened Aston Martin announced that they were killing that program. They gave bullshit excuses then changed their story after being called out on it. It all comes down to greed, one man wants his kid to have the very best racing opportunity, that is fair, every father wants the best for their kid. But when it comes at the expense of others it is fucking shameful!

Sure to an ethics committee it can all be written off as above board but really, what matters is F1 fans who support sponsors, buy team and sponsor merch to a point where fans almost feel as if they are part of their favorite team (at least in every country outside of the USA), similar to how fans of NFL teams feel a sense of pride, ownership and like they are part of the team. The avid fan sees what is happening and no one is happy. F1 was built upon teams building the best program they can and pushing that program as far as they can. For hardcore fans, F1 is not about buying your way to the top and securing your future with money. F1 has had many legends; Prost, Schumacher, Senna, Lauda, Hamilton, Alonso, Fangio all who made their way to the top by hard work, hustling and true grit. Sure Lance may get to the top of the podium some day but he will never be a legend, he will never be a hero, he will never be admired because money can’t buy those things!

Not sure how Lance sleeps at night knowing that he doesn’t belong there? He will be able to tell his grandkids one day that he was an F1 driver but those kids are going to have to do a lot of Google searching to find anything positive about grandpa. Note: I do not hate Lance Stroll, I hate the privileged attitude and I hate that the greatest form of motorsports is becoming a nothing more than a game of politics and shady deals.

M. DeFord